I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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