Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
