Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
