So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
