What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
