I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
