I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
