how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
