My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
