Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
