whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize