Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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