My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
