Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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