I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
