I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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