my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize