FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
