Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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