she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
