Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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