thus making me awesome and them whores
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
how drunk are you?
Several
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
