38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
