The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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