just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
as a side note pls kill me
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