Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This toilet bowl is my home.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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