Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
