I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
