you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
