lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
