wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
