We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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