i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We don't watch enough power rangers
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
