Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
