They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize