Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he thought i was a dude.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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