turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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