Betty ford says i'm here all night
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
