I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I didn't shave. On purpose
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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