if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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