I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
