I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
