I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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