I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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