I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
