and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize