Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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