i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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