I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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