if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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