i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
