When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
