dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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