Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
