Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
