Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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