i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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