so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
