I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
