I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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